


get with the routine (we could do this all week long)

by misura



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Trek Fusion, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:53:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22694365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: Yet another typical away mission.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 46
Collections: Chocolate Box - Round 5





	get with the routine (we could do this all week long)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [elysiumwaits](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elysiumwaits/gifts).



"Would it have killed you to back me up without asking any questions?" Arthur asked. "Just the once?"

Merlin felt torn between saying, _I'm not your servant_ (true, as far as the crew was concerned, anyway) and - "Last time I did that, we ended up getting married."

"Starfleet does not recognize alien wedding ceremonies as legally binding," Arthur said airily. "There was - is nothing to worry about. We could get married a dozen times this week."

Merlin imagined getting married (yeah, yeah, _married via alien wedding ceremony_ ) to Arthur a dozen times and decided that death would be preferable.

Of course, living and _not_ getting married-to-Arthur-in-a-not-legally-binding sort of way would be even more preferable.

A pity that probably wasn't an option.

"Anyway, just do that thing you do and we can be on our way," Arthur said, adding, "These manacles are really uncomfortable, you know," as if Merlin hadn't been put in the same ones.

"My thing," Merlin repeated.

"You know," Arthur said. He sounded impatient. Well, more impatient than usual. "Your _thing_."

 _I thought_ we _had a thing, but then it turned out it was just alien sex pollen as part of the alien wedding ceremony,_ Merlin thought. They hadn't really talked about it, after. Merlin had almost managed to convince himself it was for the best, really, who needed to consider dating someone as terrible as Arthur?

(Well. He would, obviously. But not if Arthur only wanted to have sex with him when they'd been sex pollened.)

"You know they're going to come back any moment now, don't you?" Arthur went on. "They'll probably try to feed us to something. It's going to be a huge pain. So why don't you just - ?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Merlin said.

Starfleet might be lenient when it came to the validity (or lack thereof) of alien wedding ceremonies, but when it came to magic, the rules were extremely clear. Magic was a no-no, and so Merlin had been very good about not using any. Ever.

Except during emergencies, which Arthur seemed to attract with a frequency that Merlin found frankly alarming.

" _Magic!_ " Arthur whispered. "Magic, Merlin. Come on. Stop playing dumb."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Merlin said. Arthur couldn't possibly have proof.

Arthur could, of course, make an absolute nuisance of himself during what little time remained to them. "Honestly, Merlin. Do you think I'm stupid?"

_Yes, but that doesn't seem to have prevented me from falling in love with you, so I guess it's contagious._

"We don't actually _know_ what they plan to do with us," Merlin said, only adding a grudging, "Sir," because during That Night, Arthur had seemed to really like that.

"I have good instincts," Arthur said. "A gut feeling. So why don't you be a good lad and summon a dragon or something?"

 _The dragon's the one summoning me, not the other way around,_ Merlin thought.

"Well?" Arthur said in a rather demanding tone of voice.

"Oh look, I think that's our captors coming back now!" Merlin said brightly.

As it turned out, the aliens wanted them for some sort of Spring fertility ritual something something - it all sounded very sex pollen-ish to Merlin, which meant, of course, that he and Arthur ended up getting married again (if not in a legally binding sort of way) and then shoved into a tent to presumably consummate their love. Or something.

"I hope you're happy now," Arthur said. The aliens had taken away their uniforms and replaced them with clothing that left not all that much to the imagination.

Not that that had stopped Merlin's from pretty much running rampant these past two hours. (He blamed the sex pollen.)

"Maybe we could - " Merlin said.

"I'm not having sex with you in a _tent_!" Arthur said, expression outraged. "For crying out loud, Merlin!"

 _So where_ would _you have sex with me?_ Merlin almost asked, but happily he wasn't that far gone yet. The sex pollen must be a bit slow to kick in this time around.

"We could just pretend," Merlin suggested.

Arthur looked less than enthusiastic.

 _Or_ you _could pretend, while I give in to the sex pollen and fantasize about having sex with a version of you that's actually not a douche._

Of course, then Arthur said, "I suppose we don't have much choice, do we," as if sex with Merlin was some sort of chore or punishment or what-have-you, and Merlin almost wanted to tell him no.

(He didn't, naturally. Stupid sex pollen.)


End file.
